


I prayed to you

by moffwithhishead



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Prayer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-20
Updated: 2013-02-20
Packaged: 2017-12-04 21:47:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/715455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moffwithhishead/pseuds/moffwithhishead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean prays to Cas all the time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I prayed to you

**Author's Note:**

> There’s a post floating around somewhere on here where someone was wondering what Dean’s prayers to Cas have been like since the Samandriel incident in “Torn & Frayed." Because my brain is apparently a masochist, it supplied some prayers almost immediately. I’m really sorry.

Cas, man, listen, I know it’s hard right now… but if something’s wrong you _GOTTA_ tell us buddy. If you need our help, we’re here. Or if you just wanna talk or not talk or drink or need a hug, whatever, I’m here for you man. I mean, Sam’s a better hugger but I’m here… 

* * *

 

Okay Cas, I get it, you’re grieving… can you please just let me know that you’re okay?

 

* * *

I’m here if you need me man. No more going nuclear on us.

* * *

 

If you’re doing your penance or whatever, can you drop a dude a text to let him know you’re alright…? 

 

* * *

Cas, get your feathery ass down here  **RIGHT**.  _NOW_.

…Please? I’m worried man… and we just got you back…

* * *

 

Benny and I… broke up? You know what I mean, don’t laugh. Sam… Benny saved my ass in Purgatory and I’ll never forget that, never be able to pay him back for it either, but Sammy’s my brother. Can you just… make sure Benny’s okay? He didn’t sound too good.

 

* * *

Hey Cas, I hope you’re safe wherever you are. Remember to call if you need back up, man. We’re worried about you.

* * *

 

We went LARPing today… remember that girl Charlie I told you about? Hung out with her most of the day. I was her handmaiden. Looked awesome in my chain-mail and wig. When you get back from wherever you are, I’ll take you to meet her. I think you’d like her.

 

* * *

 

Sam’s hair has been in a ponytail since we left Charlie. Wish you were here to see him be the big girl I always knew he was. I’ll take pictures.

 

* * *

Come on man, give me _something_ to let me know you’re okay.

* * *

 

I’m sorry about Samandriel by the way… I’m not sure if I said that before, but I really am Cas.   
And I mean, I’m shit at this stuff but if you want to talk to someone, man… I’m here.

 

* * *

It’s not good to grieve alone, you know.

* * *

 

Met my grandfather today. Not Samuel, the other one. Bastard broke one of Baby’s windows and stole your feathers from the trunk. No wonder dad hated him.

 

* * *

 

We could really use your help right now, man… 

 

* * *

 

Okay, fine,  _ **I**_  could really use you right now because I’m kind of freaking out. I don’t know what to do about Henry. He doesn’t seem too bad but he still ditched my dad but he ditched my dad because he was here, with us, right? Shit this makes no sense. You always know what I mean…

 

* * *

 

Does my dad know that Henry didn’t abandon them? Did you know about the ‘Men of Letters’ crap? Man, I wish you were here to help us make some sense of this…

 

* * *

Okay, fine, uncle, I give - _**I miss you**_. I need you around man, just… come home.

* * *

 

Holy shit Cas, so you remember Henry? Well he kind of left us this place and you should see it. Think of Bruce’s bat cave in that movie we watched your first night back, it’s kind of like that but with more books. You’d be having nerdgasms with Sam right now man. There’s even a room you can have. Right next to mine. And they left a lot of really cool shit in here Cas… when you come back, I’ll show you around.

 

* * *

 

Had a gay thing today. Thought a guy was following me today but it turns out he was just hitting on me. In a weird way, he reminded me of you. Hope you’re okay…

 

* * *

 

Got thrown around by Aaron’s golem today… he was my gay thing. Aaron, not his golem. Apparently he wasn’t hitting on me, but c’mon, he totally was. You’d like Aaron. We killed some Nazi’s today too which was pretty awesome. Wish you were here for this stuff Cas.

 

* * *

 

Sam said you’re not answering him either. ‘M not asking for a whole conversation really Cas, I’m pretty sure that you’re busy off being an angel and whatever, but seriously? I just need to know that you’re okay… please?

 

* * *

 

Charlie said she’s been praying to you. Ignore everything she says about me, it’s all lies.

 

* * *

Fuck, Cas, just come home already. We’re not mad. I’m not mad - I just miss you, asshole. Fuck, just… just please, Cas. Come home. 

* * *

 

I have my own room now. I’ve never had my own room… you should see it Cas. It’s not _quite_ as awesome as I’d like it to be, but it’s getting there. Got my records, my guns, my knives and this awesome memory foam mattress. Dude - it  _remembers_  me! Remember in Purgatory when you said that if you’d been a human for longer, you would have taken up writing? Well I found this typewriter and I mean, if you want it… even saved you a wall.

 

* * *

 

Update on operation D&CGTWC: my burger skills are pretty damn good if the noises Sammy’s making are anything to go on. I’ll make you one when you come home. Also, remind me to think of a shorter op name.

 

* * *

 

Kevin called, something’s wrong. We’re heading there now but if you’re in the area… can you just make sure he’s not dying or something? Don’t even have to stay if you want…?

 

* * *

 

Okay, so I’ve got good news and bad news Cas. Good news? Kevin’s figured out how to close the gates to Hell. Bad news? There’s trials and it doesn’t sound like the end of these trials is anything good. Something about your spine coming out of your mouth for all eternity - I stopped listening at that point. Point is we’re going to try and knock out the first one now and I’m going to do it. To protect Sammy.

 

* * *

 

Shit Cas, we have to kill a Hell Hound. Shit.

 

* * *

Come on asshole, don’t make me do this alone.

* * *

Oh fuck me, of course it’s fucking Crowley who made these deals.

  
Cas, dammit, _**what’s a guy gotta do to get his angel to pay attention around here?**_  


* * *

 

There might be something wrong with me because a really hot woman who’s totally my type just threw herself at me and I said no. I mean, I said no because there were hell hounds running around and eating people and everything but that’s never stopped me before…?

 

* * *

 

I hope Sam doesn’t blame himself for what I said.

 

* * *

 

Ellie kissed me.

 

* * *

 

She’s really hot and she’s got a hell hound on her ass and she kissed me and a part of me is screaming that this is the perfect opportunity because I literally can’t be expected to see her ever again but it’s not… it doesn’t feel right…? …Fuck, I’m turning into a girl Cas. 

 

* * *

 

ANY TIME NOW CAS… JUST HANGIN’ OUT ON THE FLOOR OF THIS BARN WITH A HELL HOUND BREATHING ON ME AND I’M BLEEDING… ANYTIME NOW MAN…

 

* * *

 

Sam called me a genius… he said I’m a better hunter than him, than dad… today’s been really weird Cas. Really weird.

 

* * *

 

Shit. Cas, Sam passed the first trial. He looked like he was in pain and I just… I believe in him Cas, I do, but I’m worried about him.

 

* * *

 

So I’m drunk and I’m going to regret this tomorrow morning but fuck it. I can’t lose you again, Cas. I **just** got you back man. I barely survived the last time I lost you and I don’t think I can do it again. We’d just… we’d ** _just_**  started to get back to normal, before the whole Crowley shitshow and I fucking miss you, you asshole. And I’m worried about you. I don’t know if you’re ignoring me or dead or being tortured or doing penance or what man, I just know you’re not answering me and that you went back to Heaven even though you said that you were afraid if you went back there that you’d kill yourself and… damn it Cas, you son of a bitch, come home. _**Please**_.

 

* * *

Please don’t be dead.

**Author's Note:**

> cross posted from tumblr, [here](http://castielresidentbamf.tumblr.com/post/43373562619/theres-a-post-floating-around-somewhere-on-here).


End file.
